Real talk - no one, literally NO ONE wants to sit down and think about the best way to address their invitations. It can be stressful, tedious, and confusing, trust me I know.
I wanted to put together an easy reference for my brides to help you decide what is the best way we should address your invitations.
Inner and Outer Envelopes
History Lesson - Inner and Outer envelopes started to be a thing way back in the horse and buggy days. Outer Envelopes were introduced to help protect the invitation and inner envelope from becoming damaged or getting dirty.
Flash forward to today - our mailing system is better and you don't see mail that is damaged or dirty. However, many traditional brides with more formal weddings still opt for the inner and outer envelopes.
Inner Envelopes
Typically inner envelopes are addressed more informally. They will includes the names of every person invited to the wedding. This includes the names of kids or additional family members. If it is a couple (even if they don't live together) both couples names will appear and guest is included if applicable.
Outer Envelopes
Outer envelopes are usually addressed only to the heads of the household.
Having two envelopes does typically clear up any confusion about who is invited to the wedding and who is not.
Formal Wedding Addressing
When addressing envelopes for a formal wedding, you want to be mindful of the following:
Use formal names - do not include nicknames or abbreviated names.
If you want to include a middle name, spell it out completely. While not necessary, if your preference is to use, don't use an abbreviation.
Spell out all words such as Apartment, Avenue, Street, etc.
It is appropriate to abbreviate Mr., Mrs., Jr. etc. However to increase formality, use Mister, Missus, Junior etc.
For professional titles, spell them out completely (Doctor or Professor).
If children are invited to the wedding, they should be on a new line underneath the parents and addressed with first and last names.
Semi-Formal Wedding Addressing
If you are a bride who is having a formal wedding but isn't quite on the 5 course, seated dinner formality - you might want to consider semi-formal wedding addressing.
It's ok to use nicknames or abbreviated names - in some cases. If you have a person who's name is Richard, but they go by Rick - it is perfectly ok to address a semi-formal invitation as Rick. You should however still use Mr. and Mrs.
Spell out words like Apartment, Avenue, Street, etc.
It is appropriate to abbreviate Mr., Mrs., Jr. etc. Spelling out the entire word in this scenario would be too formal.
It is OK to abbreviate titles to Dr. and Prof.
If children are invited, it is appropriate to include "and family" after the parents names.
Informal Wedding Addressing
Using Mr. and Mrs. could be too formal for your liking. Instead of Using Mr. and Mrs. you may opt for something like Jenny and John Greene.
If it is a family - you can certainly add "The Greene Family" if every person in the family is invited to the wedding.
You should continue to write out words like Apartment, Avenue, Street, etc. This isn't to increase formality - it just looks better on the invitation.
It is OK to abbreviate titles to Dr. and Prof.
FAQ's
What should have lines to themselves
-Invitee, Street Address, and City, State, Zip gets its own line on the invitation.
Other items to consider having their own line on the invitation include:
*Apartment Numbers
*Children
*Zip Code (sometimes this can be added to a new line on the envelope for design purposes)
What if the Names are too long for one line.
If the name is too long for one line on the envelope - the font should be lowered. For formal invitation you want the head of households name to be on one line.
At what point should the children of families get their own invitation instead of being addressed with the family?
If the child is over the age of 18, they should get an invitation addressed to themselves. If they are over the age of 21, they should always receive a plus one.
When should I use Ms. vs Miss. vs. Mrs?
If the girl is under 18, she should be addressed as Miss.
Ms. is an unmarried woman or a married woman who did not change her last name.
Mrs. if reserved for a married woman, widowed woman or a divorced woman who kept her married name.
Inner and Outer Envelope Examples
For Formal wedding addressing refer to the Inner Envelope Examples
Scenario | Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
Single Person | Mr. Johnathon Greene Mister Johnathon Greene | Mr Johnathon Greene (and Guest) Johnathon Greene (and Guest) |
Married Couple with the Same Last Name | Mr. and Mrs. Johnathon Greene Mister and Mistress Johnathon Greene | Mr. and Mrs. Johnathon Greene Uncle John and Aunt Susie |
Married Couple with Different Last Name | Mr. Johnathon Greene and Mrs. Susie Lake Mister Johnathon Greene and Mistress Susie Lake | Mr. Johnathon Greene and Mrs. Susie Lake Uncle Johnathon and Aunt Susie |
Unmarried Couple | Mr. Johnathon Greene and Mrs. Susie Lake Mister Johnathon Greene and Mistress Susie Lake | Mr. Johnathon Greene and Miss. Susie Lake Uncle John and Aunt Susie |
Family | Mr. and Mrs. Johnathon Greene Mister and Mistress Johnathon Greene | Mr. and Mrs. Johnathon Greene Nolan and Sarah Greene |
Semi-Formal Wedding Addressing
Single Person | Mr. John Greene (and Guest) |
Married Couple with Same Last Name | Mr. and Mrs John Greene |
Married Couple with Different Last Names | Mr. John Green and Mrs. Susie Lake |
Unmarried Couple | Mr. John Green and Mrs. Susie Lake |
Family | Mr. and Mrs. John Green and Family |
Informal Wedding Addressing
Single Person | John Greene |
Married Couple with Same Last Name | John and Susie Green |
Married Couple with Different Last Names | John Greene and Susie Lake |
Unmarried Couple | John Greene and Susie Lake |
Family | The Green Family |
I think it is important to remember - you know your guests, you know the vibe of you wedding. At the end of the day, you should address you envelopes the way that feels right to you. Above are traditional guidelines that should help you - by no means should these be considered law :)